it's been weeks since my last journal. Maybe a week or two weeks. so sorry for updating the journal pretty late, but I'm pretty occupied lately. At least today I have more free time to spare.
I arrived at China at Wednesday (05/18) morning. Taking care of my dad's body to be brought home to Jakarta was pretty complicated. My mom and I had to go to hospital and embassy office to take care of the transport, contact an agency to help the transport, even my brother need to go to China as well to help the process. Long story short, it took days for us to take care for the transport. Actually we could get home at Saturday (05/21) but there are no any plane with China - Jakarta route, so we can went home at Monday (05/23).
The funeral period began at Wednesday (05/25) until Sunday (05/29). So before the day come, we took a rest. My father's body arrived at Jakarta at Wednesday, 6 p.m. To be honest, that was the very first time I saw my father's body directly, because at China he was covered completely. I was scared at first, but soon enough I mustered strength to see him at the morgue. Well--he's my dad, anyway. Thankfully his body was in a pretty good condition since the body had been one week long, although the formalin made his face turned into dark greenish black.
The coffin was closed at Thursday (05/26), but before that time, I often looked my father on his death bed. Because that was the only time I could see him for the last time. Sometimes I stayed there, looking blankly for a few seconds. I didn't cry at all, but my heart felt extremely heavy. It was I couldn't believe it he was gone //this// fast, I still accompanied him to the airport and talked with him face to face one month ago and now we met again with him at his coffin. Simply to put, I'm not accustomed yet that my father passed away.
The only time I cried is when it's time to close his coffin. Before and after that, I didn't cry again. But my heart still felt very heavy. There was so many people came to attend during the funeral period--relatives, friends, even friends and co-workers from every family members. My dad knew so many people, so the place was pretty crowded. Among those people, some of my friends managed to came as well and their sympathy gave me comfort.
at Sunday (05/29), it's the day for cremation. After that, we buried my father on the sea. My brother drowned the urn, after that I sow the remains of our father's coffin. This funeral period was really exhausting, so I took a break at Monday and Tuesday (05/30/-31) before went back to work at Wednesday, June 1st. During my nap at Thursday, I dreamed about my father. we sat at the living room, and on that dream he already passed away, yet I could see his spirit. That night, my mom's niece who was staying at our house heard someone who was using a bathroom for several times. No one was actually using a bathroom during that hour, so probably my father was visiting our house.
So I'm sorry for the really late update! I had been occupied lately, and yesterday I went out with my mom and her niece all day so I can only update my journal now. But thank you so much for your concern about my father. I believed he was in a better place now. And please don't worry about me, I already get over it and let him go sincerely.
Have a nice day
My father has just passed away today, at 3:40 p.m.
I know this is a sad news. My mom now is a widow, and me and my brothers lost our beloved father.
but don't you worry, we are already prepared for the worst. You don't have to worry about me as well, I am ready that this day might happen (which is, it really happened) and I can stay strong because of you guys.
Even though I cannot make it to China in time, I had a chance to have a video call with my father last night. I already said all what I feel about him, that I loved him, that I am very sorry for what I have done to him in a bad way, so I have no regrets because I have my last chance to say it to him, eventhough he cannot speak anymore.
Thank you very much for you unending support! I really appreciate it. If you don't mind, please pray for his soul to rest in peace.
If you still have your dad, tell him that you love him when you still have a chance, because we don't know when our father will leave us.
Thank you for your attention guys. Have a nice day